Drunk Guys Steal Park Penguin

Now I know people tend to do some dumb shit when they’re drunk, but break into Sea World and steal a penguin? Seriously?

In a half-baked “The Hangover” type plan, three drunken friends thought it would be cool to break into an Australian Sea World and go swimming with the Dolphins. Once that mission lost its excitement, the three comrades took it upon themselves to adopt a new pet; Dirk, a Fairy Penguin that lived among his Penguin homies at the park. The next morning however when the alcohol wore off and they regained (some) sense they found this little guy hanging out in their hotel room and could not remember how he got there. What… the… fuck.

First of all, how did these three geniuses sneak pass security? Perhaps we should aid Australia in bettering their security forces rather than Iraq because they’re clearly slipping. Next, how did these three swim with the Dolphins and no one noticed? The video below shows footage from a security camera at Sea World and the three stooges can be seen plain as day in their underwear swimming with the Dolphins. Whoever was on duty that night should be fired. Yes, I know, we all fuck off on the job sometimes but that’s just a damn shame. Lastly and probably the most vexing, how on earth did these guys nab an adult Penguin and get him out of the park? Obviously these guys are masters a dodging security, but did no one at all notice three guys who obviously weren’t on staff running out of the park with a life-like animal shaped object? Once they got back to the hotel, did no one at all notice the sheer oddity of what was going on? I’ve seen plenty of people get hassled for returning to a hotel drunk but these guys were drunk, probably behaving like bafoons and carrying a Penguin! Is shit like that normal in Australia? What a world we live in.

Anyway, after the three amigos abandoned poor Dirk near a shark-infested lagoon (good job guys!) he was spotted and ultimately returned to Sea World. After trying to hock the video for funds to cover the costs of a much-needed attorney, one of the guys involved in this lackluster plan forked over, for free, the video in an attempt to prove that despite their idiocy, they had no intention of harming Dirk and that they were just trying to have fun. Wow. I hope when their 2 May 2012 court appearance comes up they have a better defense than that. The three guys face counts of trespassing and stealing a protected animal. Here’s the video from 7News that shows the security camera shots and an overall news take on this situation as well as the entire story compliments of Gawker. Enjoy!

Drunk Men Steal Penguin From Sea World

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